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  #61  
Old 26-03-2012, 10:58 AM
zaidi14 zaidi14 is offline
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by skseofleet View Post
hahahhaha really laughing,....

here is one in

Suppose you are in a bus, and your pee on its limit but due to shame you can't do, You see there is music in bus with loud volume and think to do your pee with music rythm, and by acting smartly you did your pee with music. All is fine now but when you get down at your station from bus then all the passengers looking you and suddenly you realize that you are listing music from your head phones.....

hahahahahahaha
Now this is what I call funny
lol
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  #62  
Old 27-03-2012, 8:06 AM
ACampbell ACampbell is offline
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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
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  #63  
Old 27-03-2012, 8:01 PM
RyanSuter RyanSuter is offline
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A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
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  #64  
Old 28-03-2012, 9:48 AM
msalexander msalexander is offline
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!
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  #65  
Old 29-03-2012, 6:14 AM
woodwindows woodwindows is offline
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Can u believe what people do in the church these days?

I was in the church listening tothe priest's sermon when i saw a guy smoking cigarettes inside the church.

I was so amazed that i didn't know when the bottle of beer i was holding fell on the floor
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  #66  
Old 29-03-2012, 8:20 AM
EthanJoushu EthanJoushu is offline
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Phone: Nokia 6233
Network: BSNL
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Nice jokes.
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  #67  
Old 29-03-2012, 12:06 PM
CIngram CIngram is offline
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Supplemental Rules for Bowling

If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".

If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.

A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
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  #68  
Old 30-03-2012, 10:37 AM
GSouthee GSouthee is offline
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Addicted to Internet Porn

Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn

- During foreplay, he's always double-clicking your G-spot.

- His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.

- When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll down."

- Tells everyone he's a pioneer in "palm computing."

- He's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.

- Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.

- When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."

- You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.

- As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.

- During sex, he shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"

- His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you... he pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.
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  #69  
Old 02-04-2012, 10:49 AM
ShaneCosta ShaneCosta is offline
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Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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  #70  
Old 02-04-2012, 11:05 AM
hawa hawa is offline
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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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  #71  
Old 02-04-2012, 11:15 AM
justinbartholomew justinbartholomew is offline
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A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
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  #72  
Old 04-04-2012, 7:30 AM
addneyclive addneyclive is offline
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
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  #73  
Old 05-04-2012, 12:57 PM
aikencais aikencais is offline
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Our staff of 14 professional board certified estheticians and cosmetologists offer a wide range of personalized eyelash extension application services in a sterile setting. We work to be the BEST and we stand by our product and service.
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  #74  
Old 06-04-2012, 8:30 PM
ruddaina ruddaina is offline
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very funny
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  #75  
Old 09-04-2012, 8:09 AM
abigailcathy abigailcathy is offline
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OK here are a few business/government terms made easy,I hope it increases your understanding of todays, technical and complex society. FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and then you all share the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
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