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  #1  
Old 09-12-2011, 6:10 AM
Lukewilson Lukewilson is offline
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Funny Jokes

I saw you yesterday on the road.
Such beautiful eyes,
walking gracefully down the road,
and I started to sing;
Who let the dogs out!
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  #2  
Old 09-12-2011, 7:13 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukewilson View Post
I saw you yesterday on the road.
Such beautiful eyes,
walking gracefully down the road,
and I started to sing;
Who let the dogs out!

hahahhaha really laughing,....

here is one in

Suppose you are in a bus, and your pee on its limit but due to shame you can't do, You see there is music in bus with loud volume and think to do your pee with music rythm, and by acting smartly you did your pee with music. All is fine now but when you get down at your station from bus then all the passengers looking you and suddenly you realize that you are listing music from your head phones.....
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  #3  
Old 09-12-2011, 9:26 AM
JamesLogan JamesLogan is offline
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Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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  #4  
Old 12-12-2011, 7:17 AM
Marklorry Marklorry is offline
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Black Husband: If I die, will you remarry? Black Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Black Husband: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
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  #5  
Old 12-12-2011, 7:41 AM
karisnasing karisnasing is offline
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funny unique jokes

What are some funny unique jokes I can tell at school tommorow?
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  #6  
Old 13-12-2011, 7:35 AM
MarkJett MarkJett is offline
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Finding The Car

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.

The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy.

'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk.

'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies.

'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager.

'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!'.

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  #7  
Old 14-12-2011, 9:09 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkJett View Post
Finding The Car

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.

The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy.

'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk.

'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies.

'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager.

'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!'.


Hey its rocking friend, I am unable to stop my laugh. Thanks for sharing
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  #8  
Old 15-12-2011, 5:43 AM
MikeTyson MikeTyson is offline
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A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"

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  #9  
Old 15-12-2011, 6:29 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Laywer Punishmeent

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman.

"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
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  #10  
Old 16-12-2011, 11:05 AM
JohnCorey JohnCorey is offline
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Buy a Mac I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."

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  #11  
Old 19-12-2011, 4:56 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnCorey View Post
Buy a Mac I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."


Is this joke or something different???
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  #12  
Old 20-12-2011, 7:37 AM
DavidHall2 DavidHall2 is offline
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
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  #13  
Old 22-12-2011, 5:38 AM
GaryPayton GaryPayton is offline
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Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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  #14  
Old 28-12-2011, 8:49 AM
danielaustin danielaustin is offline
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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!!!"
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  #15  
Old 29-12-2011, 10:13 AM
DavidBerman DavidBerman is offline
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Q:How many Blues musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Ten.... One to actually change the bulb and the other nine to sing about
how good the old one was!
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