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  #1  
Old 09-12-2011, 5:10 AM
Lukewilson Lukewilson is offline
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Funny Jokes

I saw you yesterday on the road.
Such beautiful eyes,
walking gracefully down the road,
and I started to sing;
Who let the dogs out!
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  #2  
Old 09-12-2011, 6:13 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukewilson View Post
I saw you yesterday on the road.
Such beautiful eyes,
walking gracefully down the road,
and I started to sing;
Who let the dogs out!

hahahhaha really laughing,....

here is one in

Suppose you are in a bus, and your pee on its limit but due to shame you can't do, You see there is music in bus with loud volume and think to do your pee with music rythm, and by acting smartly you did your pee with music. All is fine now but when you get down at your station from bus then all the passengers looking you and suddenly you realize that you are listing music from your head phones.....
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  #3  
Old 26-03-2012, 9:58 AM
zaidi14 zaidi14 is offline
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by skseofleet View Post
hahahhaha really laughing,....

here is one in

Suppose you are in a bus, and your pee on its limit but due to shame you can't do, You see there is music in bus with loud volume and think to do your pee with music rythm, and by acting smartly you did your pee with music. All is fine now but when you get down at your station from bus then all the passengers looking you and suddenly you realize that you are listing music from your head phones.....

hahahahahahaha
Now this is what I call funny
lol
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  #4  
Old 29-03-2012, 11:06 AM
CIngram CIngram is offline
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Supplemental Rules for Bowling

If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".

If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.

A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
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  #5  
Old 02-04-2012, 9:49 AM
ShaneCosta ShaneCosta is offline
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Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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  #6  
Old 09-12-2011, 8:26 AM
JamesLogan JamesLogan is offline
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Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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  #7  
Old 12-12-2011, 6:17 AM
Marklorry Marklorry is offline
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Black Husband: If I die, will you remarry? Black Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Black Husband: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
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  #8  
Old 12-12-2011, 6:41 AM
karisnasing karisnasing is offline
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funny unique jokes

What are some funny unique jokes I can tell at school tommorow?
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  #9  
Old 13-12-2011, 6:35 AM
MarkJett MarkJett is offline
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Finding The Car

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.

The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy.

'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk.

'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies.

'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager.

'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!'.

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  #10  
Old 14-12-2011, 8:09 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkJett View Post
Finding The Car

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.

The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy.

'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk.

'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies.

'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager.

'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!'.


Hey its rocking friend, I am unable to stop my laugh. Thanks for sharing
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  #11  
Old 15-12-2011, 4:43 AM
MikeTyson MikeTyson is offline
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A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"

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  #12  
Old 15-12-2011, 5:29 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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Laywer Punishmeent

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman.

"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
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  #13  
Old 16-12-2011, 10:05 AM
JohnCorey JohnCorey is offline
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Buy a Mac I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."

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  #14  
Old 19-12-2011, 3:56 AM
skseofleet skseofleet is offline
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jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnCorey View Post
Buy a Mac I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."


Is this joke or something different???
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  #15  
Old 20-12-2011, 6:37 AM
DavidHall2 DavidHall2 is offline
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
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